The Attack of the Stink Bugs

Karma is real.

At our wedding, BW and I played the always-fun Shoe Game. We tried to keep it a surprise for the other person, so we did a combination of questions picked by each of us — without telling the other person — and the rest filled in by our Best Peoples of Honor.

One of the questions was along the lines of, “If there’s a spider in the bathroom, who’s going to take care of it?”

Both high-heeled shoes rose in the air, and everyone had a good laugh at me being tougher than BW in the Spider Eradication Department.

Hah. Hahahaha.

This story is largely aboutΒ our curtains. They have stayed open the last three months we’ve lived here. In the living room we have these sheer curtains we keep “closed” to pretend like we have privacy, and in our bedroom we just use the blinds.

(Also, our curtains are not ours. They came with the apartment. They are these really old burlap-esque things that really should just be burnt. And I did really just want to burn the whole lot of them.)

Yesterday, I, for whatever reason, decided to close our curtains.

Now, we have three windows with curtains on them.

Crap. No we don’t. We have five.

Ohhhhh no. I forgot about the study.

I’m not going to look. I refuse. I’m going to pretend they’re not there.

So we have three sets of curtains in our whole entire apartment. And I decided to close them because it’s getting cold, so insulation and stuff.

Lo freakin’ and behold. I didn’t take a picture, because I’m still trying to burn it from my brain.

You know how curtains have those creases in them?

Those stupid creases were littered with stink bugs.

EWWWW.

I wanted them out of my house, but I couldn’t muster up the courage to do it myself. I created a wad of toilet paper several layers thick, and still couldn’t bring myself to try to peel them off the curtains and flush them down the toilet. (That was my plan. If they’re in the sewer, I can’t smell them.)

But no. I had to wait for BW to come home. He didn’t like the flushing idea, so he instead, one-by-one, coaxed them all onto a piece of paper and flicked them out the window.

Which is just grand, because that will totally keep them out of our apartment forever.

And we definitely got all of them. The small shadow on one of the curtains in our living room that I’m looking at is definitely not the shadow of a stink bug on the other side.

Definitely not.

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